Hello SmacksWallWithFace,
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities. You've done a great job in troubleshooting this unexpected behavior. Restarting your device, recreating alarms and redownloading your music were all great steps to attempt. If you have any pending updates, it would be a good idea to install them on your iPhone.
This can usually help with unique issues, since updates include fixes. Just in case, this link can guide you through the update process: Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support
1.)Back up your device using iCloud or your computer.
2.)Plug your device into power and connect to the internet with Wi-Fi.
3.)Go to Settings > General, then tap Software Update.
4.) If you see more than one software update option available, choose the one that you want to install.
5.) Tap Install Now. If you see Download and Install instead, tap it to download the update, enter your passcode, then tap Install Now. If you don't know your passcode, learn what to do: If you forgot your iPhone passcode - Apple Support
If your issue continues, please reach out to Apple Support. They might need to investigate this issue further with you. Use the following link to reach them: Get Support
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities. Take care.