add payment method greyed out how do i get it active

See -> Remove a payment method from your Apple ID

Remove a payment method from your Apple ID - Apple Support

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If you can't remove a payment method

If you have subscriptions like iCloud+, have an unpaid balance, or you use purchase sharing, you must keep at least one payment method on file.

• Do you have a subscription? You can cancel iCloud+ and cancel other subscriptions from Apple. When your subscription period is over, remove your payment method.
• If you're in a Family Sharing group and you use purchase sharing, the family organizer must have a payment method on file. If you're the family organizer, turn off purchase sharing, then remove the payment method.
• If you have an unpaid balance, you might not be able to remove a payment method. Instead, change your payment method.
• 👉 If you still can't remove a payment method, contact Apple Support.

See also ⤵️

Add a payment method to your Apple ID

Add a payment method to your Apple ID – Apple Support (UK)

• If you want to change your card, add first the new card, then remove the old one.
• or if you want to use your Apple ID balance, you need to set your Apple ID balance as your default payment

If you need to change or update your Apple ID payment method

If you need to change or update your Apple ID payment method - Apple Support

• If you want to change your card, add first the new card, then remove the old one.
• or if you want to use your Apple ID balance, you need to set your Apple ID balance as your default payment

If you have followed all the steps and instructions and if you still need help, get support from Apple directly -> Get Support or call Apple in your region see -> Contact Apple for support and service or check -> here for more support and assistance.