Hello autum99,
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities. We'd like to help out. There's a few settings you can check to make sure that your Apple ID is set up there and other settings that might also might cause this. Follow the steps below:
1.) Make sure your Apple ID is signed in on your device and not your husband's. Go to Settings >[your name], make sure your Apple ID is signed in there: Sign in with your Apple ID - Apple Support
2.) Check your iMessage and Face Time settings for the correct Apple ID as well.
3.) Go to Settings > Screen Time and make sure no restrictions are enabled on your device.
4.) Make sure all updates have been installed on your iPhone: Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support
5.) Add more security to your Apple ID: Security and your Apple ID - Apple Support
We hope these steps help you. Thank you for using Apple Support Communities. Take care.