Hello, Don_What.
I understand you are trying to find assistance with using your iMac and your iPhone, but having little success.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but as I read your responses here I gather that you are of an age where this technology has you more than a little befuddled. I understand this is frustrating when all you want to do is sit down and use the tools at hand.
You are obviously willing to reach out for help in this community, and that's a good step in the right direction. I suspect you can find assistance right there close to you, in your circle of family and friends. Reach out to those closest to you and find out who among them has any experience with Mac computers, or even computers in general. I would be surprised if you don't know any younger person who can help you. This could be a neighbor next door, or the son or daughter of a neighbor or friend.
In my little world, I have been the IT department for my family and friends, especially for my parents and my grands. And of course, my own kids are of a generation that absolutely can run circles around me when it comes to taking advantage of tech.
So check with those around you and ask them for assistance. Even if they themselves don't have the knowing, they may be able to help guide you in the right direction and help you find the answers you need.
Of course you can always post here for answers, too. When you do, please start your post by telling us what device the problem is with - 2019 iMac Retina 27" is enough, or iPhone 11 Pro Max. With that info and the OS version - macOS 11 Big Sur (iMac)... or iOS 17.1 (for the iPhone) - and we can begin to offer specific assistance.
Also, please understand that these Communities are staffed by volunteers who are all just end users like yourself with many levels of experience in all things Apple. Responses will be forthcoming as folks find time to sit down and respond to posts that strike them. So sometimes a little patience is required.
Try to state you questions clearly while being specific about what you are trying to accomplish, the actions you have taken and any error messages that you encounter as you try to work through something. To say that something "didn't work" gives us little to go on. Remember, we can't look over your shoulder here.
Good luck, my friend. 🍀
Carry on! 🙂