how can i reset my ipad to factory settings without logging in to itunes?

Here are the Apple support pages that outline the Activation Lock - and the only mechanisms by which it can be satisfied:

Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support

As you will discover, unless you are the owner of the AppleID that was last used to activate the device, you’ll not be able to defeat or bypass the Activation Lock. With documentary evidence that you are the original owner (such as sales receipt showing the serial number), Apple may be prepared to assist - otherwise they and nobody here will be able to help you.

If you have the necessary documentation, Apple have introduced a portal though which you may be able to request release of an Activation Lock:

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support & start an Activation Lock support request.

However, this isn’t necessarily the end of the story...

A close Family member or Executor, with the required supporting paperwork, can make application to Apple to be granted access to the Apple accounts of the deceased:

How to request access to a deceased family member's Apple accounts - Apple Support

You should note that if successful, this process will grant access to some information stored in iCloud - but will not, of itself, resolve access to the iPad.

Quite often, close family have sufficient knowledge - and access to likely recovery paths - that access to the AppleID account of the deceased family member can be recovered. Having done so, it is then possible to release the Activation Lock that prevents reuse of an iPad/iPhone.

The following guidance is written from the perspective of the owner - but a family member will get the idea as they run through the process.

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If your device is Activation Locked, this help page will provide most of the information that you’ll need:

Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

If you have forgotten your AppleID or associated password, these can be recovered here:

https://iforgot.apple.com/

To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to any one of the following:

• Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
• Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
• Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID

More information about recovery of your AppleID and associated Password:

If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

Having recovered access to the AppleID account (and therefore the AppleID username and associated Password), Activation Locks can be removed. There are several routes to this, but for brevity, I’ll refer you to this support page:

Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support

If your intent is to wipe/reset the device(s) for reuse by a new user, you would be best advised to prepare them properly:

What to do before you sell, give away or trade in your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support

If you don't have the Apple ID, password and a trusted device to receive a two-factor authentication code, you will need to follow the steps here: How to request access to a deceased family member's Apple account - Apple Support

~Lyssa

Sorry for your loss.

Why is iTunes not an option exactly?

If you can still access the iPad, you can restore it from its own settings without needing iTunes as long as you know the password for your brother's Apple ID if its still signed in to it.

If you don't know the password for your brother's Apple ID you will need to request access to his account regardless.

click here ➜ How to request access to a deceased family member's Apple account - Apple Support

If don't have access to the iPad in any way, then you absolutely need iTunes (Windows PCs or Mac with macOS 10.14 Mojave or earlier) or Finder on a Mac (macOS 10.15 Catalina or Later) to restore the device, but you will still need the Apple ID password to remove activation lock once the restore is complete.

What exactly is the current state of the iPad?

Can you access its settings?

Is your brother's Apple ID logged in to it?

If it is, do you know your brother's Apple ID password?

If you provide more details and context, someone may be able to provide a more accurate answer or suggest a course of action.