I fiddled with this for a long time before I found something that kind of makes sense. Run your calibration software and save your profile. It should live in library> ColorSync> Profiles. This however, does not show when you are in Settings> Display and try to find that profile, and is grayed out if you import it. However, if you instead open ColorSync Utility> Devices> Displays and select your display, you can set your created profile to Current. In system preferences it'll still show the apple calibration preset, but you can see the change if (in ColorSync Utility) you set the current profile back to default (giving you confidence to set it back to your created profile again). I remain only about 75% confident with this, hah, but it does seem to help match my multiple displays/computers to the light box we use.