i have 2 phones different numbers, my wife uses one and i use one. she doesnt like getting my calls and phone messages, how do i stop that? thanks

Apple IDs are personal; they shouldn’t be shared any more than you would share a toothbrush. If you share an Apple ID with someone else many bad things will happen. Each user should have their own Apple ID, then you can create Family Sharing→What is Family Sharing? - Apple Support. That way you can share what you want to share and not share what you don’t want to share.

It is OK to share an Apple ID among devices used by one person, such as an iPhone, an iPad and a Mac; in fact, it is a very useful thing to do. But not between devices used by different people.

Here is Apple’s FAQ: https://appleid.apple.com/faq/#!&page=faq. See the 4th bullet item.

And here is Apple's expansion of what I've posted→Make sure that each family member has a unique Apple ID - Apple Support

Immediately stop sharing an Apple ID. Each person, regardless of age needs her/his own, unique Apple ID.

How to create a new Apple ID - Apple Support

The person getting the new ID must thoroughly cleanse her/his device(s) before “moving in” as follows:

What to do before you sell, give away, or trade in your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support

Then this may apply:

Set up Family Sharing - Apple Support

Each of you should have your own Apple ID.

Stop sharing an Apple ID.