Synching music sometimes REVERSES - updates from mobile to laptop

Too often, but not always, when I synch between MacBook Air and iPhone or iPad, the master library on the laptop has playlists replaced by those on the mobile device (fortunately does not delete actual music files not also on the mobile).

I do NOT use the iCloud ‘synch music’, because this gave huge problems when I updated the IOS to 17.x. My IPhone is a 13pro, IOS 17.5

also common is for ‘duplicate’ playlists to show up, incremented with a number.

is anyone out there having a similar issue?