sharing name and photo

my family of 4 shares an apple ID. the contact name and photo from one of our phones is automatically shared with everyone who contacts any of the 4 of us. when we look in settings > contacts > share name and photo, the option is turned off, but there is a option that says "share automatically" and is greyed out (unclickable, as shown) and displays "contacts only". how do we change this and stop it from sharing one person's contact from all of our phones?