Apple is not a bank. Apple does not have access to you account information, including credit limit, expiration dates, available credit, merchant information, amount of transaction etc.
The information stored on your device (iPhone?) was encrypted on your device. Only your bank has the key to decrypt the information. When you start a transaction, the merchant information is encrypted on your device. Apple does not have the key to decrypt the information, only your bank does.
Apple does not know who the merchant is, what you’re purchasing, the amount of the transaction, or your account number, expiration date, CVV number or your available credit. How can they possibly approve the transaction?
Your bank is misinforming you. I would run, not walk away from that bank. In the US we have the CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau) to help protect us from abusive and predatory banks. I would hope the Netherlands does or EU would too.
I’d give the bank one last chance to assist you, then file a complaint with the appropriate agency.