Apple was VERY clear from the beginning that Apple Intelligence would not be on any iPhone model capable of running it at the beginning. They were also clear it would be rolled out this fall and likely in multiple updates. As to when iOS 18.1 will be released, no one here on this user to user only forum is associated with Apple, so we cannot answer that. If this makes you want to return your phone, that's up to you. Do what you think is best for you.
Me, I'm delighted with my iPhone 16 Pro Max and I'm sure I'll enjoy the enhanced features of Apple Intelligence when they are rolled out. Maybe I'm just a bit more patient?