iMessages randomly disappearing

Hey apple fanboys! This issue has been ongoing for 3 months and my device and apple support can only tell me that I have to wait for an update because it's with "engineering". Seems like engineering is the black hole of support. Now before you go half cocked and assume I don't know what I am doing, I have a 14 pro max updated to the latest iOS (currently 18.1.1), I have backed up and restored, I have erased and started as a new device, I have received a replacement device, all the iMessage settings are established the way apple support has instructed, and I do not have a VPN set up. Messages disappear before I can even look at them after receiving notifications. Only happening to other iMessage users, not happening with any of the smart Android users, and its only a select few folks using iMessage. Don't get too excited, I confirmed that all those with whom I am experiencing the issue are on iPhone 13 or newer and iOS 17 or later. Here's the real fun part, if I combine those folks into a group iMessage the issue doesn't occur. Even with all this, "engineering is aware of the issue". Hopefully the smart folks here outside of support have some ideas.

[Edited by Moderator]