How can I recover my iPhone password without losing data?

Sorry but you only get the “72-hour passcode do-over” if you’re running iOS 17.

If you can’t recall the passcode, a reset and restore is your ONLY option.

If you forgot your iPhone passcode or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support

AdlUm wrote:

there is no way out? is it possible to contact apple support and prove that i am the owner of this phone and restore the access code?

Nope. The ONLY solution you have is to follow the link provided above to erase your phone and set it up from backup IF you have been backing up the phone. If your phone had been updated to iOS 17 before you forgot your passcode, there was a path to use the previous code, but that is simply NOT an option to you on a phone not updated. And as you're being told, there is NO WAY to update your phone if you can't use it. Apple simply CANNOT help you. Use the link Chatanoogan provided above.

Apple does not have the ability to see or remotely reset a passcode.

The “way out” is to reset and restore from a backup.

Apple’s restoration from iCloud backups is a VERY mature process and works very well.

The passcode is the fundamental foundation block of iOS and iPadOS data security. It intentionally is built without “back doors”

You won't be able to run a new backup at this time since the phone is unavailable.

Hopefully, you have a recent backup available that you can use to restore data back to the phone once it has been erased and you are setting it up again.

It is terribly old fashioned, but worth the embarrassment to write down a new password and keep it in a safe place in your desk......even if you are sure that you will never forget it.

If you have Automatic iCloud Backups enabled; everything that CAN be done HAS been done.

How to back up your iPhone or iPad with iCloud - Apple Support

Otherwise NO.

No … a phone must be unlocked in order to perform an update.

(and it appears that your auto-updates is “off”)