itunes no longer plays my music?

Hi. You have installed one or more of the following apps; Apple Music for Windows, Apple TV for Windows, or Apple Devices for Windows. Once installed these limit iTunes to displaying audiobooks and podcasts. All three need to be removed in order to restore functionality to iTunes. Reimporting your media as podcasts has potentially complicated the process of rolling back to your previous library but I may be able to suggest a strategy to undo the damage once it is clear exactly what has happened. I would recommend removing whichever of the three new Apple apps you have installed, then launching iTunes to see what the state of your music library is. The songs should be listed once more, but may not play correctly if they have been moved into the Podcasts subfolder of your media folder. Here is a thread where I discuss how to repair broken links in the library if necessary: iTunes Original File Could Not Be Found - Apple Community.

Should you need to reinstall iTunes use this link: https://www.apple.com/itunes/download/win64. Unlike the Microsoft Store version the traditional installer shouldn't autoupdate without warning, nor download Apple Music for Windows etc.

tt2

livemeyer wrote:

... and periodically one of them will "do something" and I'll lose my playlists or files will be missing or other random crap

See Backup your iTunes for Windows library with SyncToy - Apple Community.

I find it incredulous that downloading and installing other apps that you'd think run independent of each other could have such a dramatic effect like this.

Exactly, it is an underhand tactic. If they'd mirrored the functionality of iTunes for Windows, or even Music for Mac, then it would also have perhaps been unnecessary.

tt2

When Apple made the shift, iTunes for Windows was replaced by the Apple Music app, which is why you're seeing this change. It also means certain features like CD ripping are now handled differently. To get your music back, you might need to sync it through Apple Music or re-import your music files manually, rather than through iTunes. You can still use Apple Music to manage your library, but it’s not as integrated as iTunes used to be for local media. If you still want to rip CDs, try using a different program like Windows Media Player or a third-party tool for that.