Ex-partner gaining unauthorized access to Apple ID and trusted number

Review the information provided here for when your Apple Account has been compromised.

If you think your Apple Account has been compromised - Apple Support

Dreday31_ wrote:

my ex has gained access to to my Apple ID and trusted number somehow she is controlling my device from hers but it’s not showing that her device is linked

In many places, allegations of unauthorIzed access to computers and stalking are both criminal matters.

That means lawyers and police and potentially court.

How long has this reported access and this stalking been happening?

What are the indications of the reported access?

What steps to secure or re-secure your gear have you already taken?

The previously-mentioned Apple support article is a very good start, if this is a new problem.