"Unable to update iCloud settings at this time." When trying to enable in Messages on Macbook pro

"Unable to update iCloud settings at this time." When trying to enable in Messages on Macbook pro

This is insane. I found many many posts with the same issue and not a single resolution to it. Does apple just not care about user experience anymore?

My particular scenario was that icloud messages showed approximately 63GB of storage despite my phone and laptop only showing 17GB stored locally. I disabled icloud for messages on both devices (which causes all icloud messages to be downloaded), cleaned up a bunch of attachments/videos/photos, waited 24 hours, and then enabled icloud again.

On my phone, no problem enabling but still won't sync.

On my laptop, I get that error no matter what I do. I have restarted multiple times, cleared caches, etc... all just to continue to get a completely useless error message that gives me no information about what is actually happening.