Disappointed with lack of control with family sharing.

My spouse and I have a family sharing group with my son, with my spouse as the organizer. Recently, I have been unable to verify the CVV for the card my spouse setup (not that it's anybody's business why). I have a credit card for Apple Pay in my wallet, and I have an Apple ID balance from a recent gift card. As little as a week ago, I was able to use my gift card balance to make in-app purchases, but now I cannot. I am also unable to add another payment method as it defaults to my spouse's card and insists on the CVV verification. I do not want to leave the family sharing group because of my son. This ability to allow one spouse to have this much control over the family is a serious issue and I am highly disappointed that Apple enables this and does not take steps to correct it despite numerous discussion topics that raise the same issue. I am not interested in getting redirected to some how-to instructions, but a real fix to this issue.