I upgraded to the new MobileMe Calendar yesterday, and just spent the better part of a day and a half on chat sessions with MobileMe support trying to fix primarily this but also other server errors. Ultimately, I fixed it myself, and this is how...
First, the assumption is your primary calendar is currently listed under ON MY MAC in iCal. Take this calendar and export it to a safe place for backup. And now, if you have the same calendar under user@me.com (where the pinwheel is probably infinitely spinning), right click on it and delete it. If it is your only calendar under me.com, you won't be able to delete it, so just add a dummy calendar and drag it above your primary (to thus become the "primary" to me.com), then delete the real primary now below it. You can delete the dummy later after you get everything working.
Now, referring to Apple support article TS3397, under "Troubleshooting iCal", execute the steps specified under
"Delete and re-enter your CalDAV settings for MobileMe Calendar on your Mac". In general:
- Delete the CalDAV account in iCal Preferences, and quit iCal
- Execute the specified Terminal commands
- Restart your computer
- Open iCal; The CalDAV me.com section should automatically reappear
- Add a new calendar under me.com
- Import from your backup into this new calendar; the pinwheel beside me.com should begin spinning
In a few moments, or awhile, the "Forbidden" popup will inevitably appear. There might even be multiple popups for the same event. Note the details of the event, then dismiss the popups by clicking on the "Revert to Server" button (important). Then go to that calendar (under me.com), find and take note of that event (you can recreate it later), and DELETE it. Repeat these steps and delete each and every "Forbidden" event.
Eventually, you will delete all the offending events, the sync will complete (pinwheel stops), and you will be done. There might a few popups that say "The calendar
https://cal.me.com:8443/principals/users/n.nnnnnn/ could not be accessed. It may be in use by someone else. Try again later.", but just dismiss these by clicking on "Revert to Server". Always select this option and NOT "Go Offline".
In my case, my primary calendar has a few hundred events which go back 3-4 years. I needed to delete only 5 events to get squared away.
Hope this helps.