can i load 4.2 without doing a backup

You have to do the backup before, you can do the update.

Sorry you're having a bad time of it but what you're experiencing is not the norm.

You will not get a refund for it. If you don't like it, you'll have to sell it. The warranty only covers manufacturer defects and Apple will exchange it for another one if they determine your issue is hardware related.

So why don't you contact Apple and see if maybe it is a hardware related issue. If so, I think they would replace your iPad. if you had one that was working properly, I think you might just love the thing.

There is no conspiracy of silence - most people are not having this issue.

st5ph5n wrote:
.....is there a conspiracy of silence or all all users too embarassed to admit they spent good money on the worlds biggest con trick.

A conspiracy of silence? What a strange, particular conceit.

I have had A LOT of problems with my PC and ipad. While my specific problems are not yours, sycning, downloads etc. would take HOURS AND HOURS to do. Finally syncing my ipad failed totally and 90% of my ipad apps were not functional (it got progressively worse).

I too was frustrated by lack of response to my queries here, but found a lot of help in the "windows and itunes" forum on this site. I ended up having to totally uninstalling anything related to itunes and apple off my PC (and it was harder than it looked) and reinstalling itunes.

Now, all is good and I LOVE my ipad again! (I will think twice before sycnign again, but that is just being gun shy. I know how to resolve the 'taking forever/will not' sync issue now!

Don't give up on these people, they know what they are talking about! Try the Windows forum...

I will think twice before sycnign again

I highly recommend you remember to and sync regularly.
Shouldn't take more than few minutes after the initial backup.
When I first got my iPad, I sync'd two or there times then I pretty much quit using my computer as I used the iPad for everything.
However, after installing a bunch of apps, a few weeks later, I decided to sync to get them onto the computer. Something messed up and I had to restore the iPad, losing all the data I had on it.
Getting the apps back was no problem, though it was a pain.

Now I plug it in every few days just to make sure I have a recent backup and all purchases (apps and music) get copied over to the computer.