Set up a family with Apple Products

What is the best way to set up a family with multiple apple products?

Equipment:
My wife and I each have iPhone v4s
We have an AppleTV version 1 and an AppleTV version 2
iPad 2
NAS in the closet with iTunes server (which we don't utilize)
iTunes installed on the desktop in our office on a computer that we share. We each have our own user account.

Media:
Ripped 1000s of cd's to itunes on my account
Music bought on wife iPhone, sync'd to her library
Music bought on my iPhone, sync'd to my library
Redeemed music on my iPhone, sync'd to my library
Digital copies of movies from DVD packs in my library
Purchased movies and TV shows on AppleTV version 1 sync'd to wife library
Multiple apps that have been purchased, each different on each of the different iOS devices

Detail questions:
My wife wants to have ALL of the ripped music and movies in her account. How do I set this up so I don't have tons of duplicate files and have to manage importing new rips to multiple libraries?

To have the Apple TVs work, we need to be logged in to wife's account and have her iTunes running. If I dock my iPhone on that computer, then it tries to sync to her account. If I turn off her iTunes, then the TVs don't work. How do I set this up so we don't have to worry about who's iTunes is running to watch AppleTV and to sync our iProducts?