I am afraid you are Correct. AppleTV is without a doubt waking up the sleeping Mac over wifi. I have done this several times now. However the "Library" does not always load. It seems to be hit or miss but not consistent on loaded the library.
I have found that if you wake the sleeping mac with the Apple TV and then turn Sharing on the AppleTV OFF then back ON the library loads again.
or
Wake up the Mac directly and CLOSE iTunes the OPEN iTunes and AppleTV will load the library.
Why it works sometimes and not others I have no clue.
Is this a known bug that Apple is working on or is it the way it was designed to work is the answer I am seeking now. I did email Apple and hopefully they respond back.