"I want to load iTunes and determine each time if I want to sync instead of having it done automatically. "
The go t itunes preferences and turn off automatic syncing. I believe it is in the tabs as well. have a look at the manual:
"I also want my photographs to be copied onto my computer ~ and still have the option of deleting them from my iPhone. "
This is not part of the sync process at all. You need to import them as you would from any digital camera:
"I am also trying to figure out how to get my paid apps from iTunes to my new phone. "
Sync them just as you did with the old iphone. Go to the apps tab, select them and sync.