I just found a good public source of information about Apple's crowd-sourced database - the May 10, 2011 Senate subcommittee testimony of Guy Tribble, Apple's Vice President for Software Technology. It can be downloaded as a pdf file here:
http://judiciary.senate.gov/pdf/11-5-10%20Tribble%20Testimony.pdf
The contents include:
To enable Apple mobile devices to respond quickly (or at all, in the case of non-GPS equipped devices or when GPS is not available, such as indoors or in basements) to a customer’s request for current location information, Apple maintains a secure database containing information regarding known locations of cell towers and Wi-Fi access points – also referred to as Wi-Fi hotspots. As described in greater detail below, Apple collects from millions of Apple devices anonymous location information for cell towers and Wi-Fi hotspots. From this anonymous information, Apple has been able, over time, to calculate the known locations of many millions of Wi-Fi hot spots and cell towers. Because the basis for this location information is the “crowd” of Apple devices, Apple refers to this as its “crowd-sourced” database.
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Collections and Transmissions from Apple Mobile Devices
Apple collects anonymous location information about Wi-Fi hotspots and cell towers from millions of devices to develop and refine Apple’s database of crowd-sourced location information. The mobile devices intermittently collect information about Wi-Fi hotspots and cell towers they can “see” and tag that information with the device’s current GPS coordinates, i.e. the devices “geo-tag” hotspots and towers.
This collected Wi-Fi hotspot and cell tower information is temporarily saved in a separate table in the local cache; thereafter, that data is extracted from the database, encrypted, and transmitted – anonymously – to Apple over a Wi-Fi connection every twelve hours (or later if the device does not have Wi-Fi access at that time). Apple’s servers use this information to re- calculate and update the known locations of Wi-Fi hotspots and cell towers stored in its crowd-sourced database. Apple cannot identify the source of this information, and Apple collects and uses this information only to develop and improve the Wi-Fi hotspot and cell tower location information in Apple’s crowd-sourced database. After the device attempts to upload this information to Apple, even if the attempt fails, the information is deleted from the local cache database on the device. In versions of iOS 4.1 or later, moreover, the device will not attempt to collect or upload this anonymous information to Apple unless Location Services is on and the customer has explicitly consented to at least one application’s request to use location information.
If you do want to try using someone's iPhone to update Apple's database of your router's location and the location of immediate neighborhood hotspots, the iPhone will need to simultaneously detect both the local wi-fi signals and also GPS satellite signals. So instead of bringing the iPhone indoors, bring it just outside your home and turn on its Maps app. Hopefully it will be able to detect your router's wi-fi signal (and possibly your neighbors' wifi signals) at the same time that its Maps app is providing the iPhone's location via GPS. The iPhone doesn't have to actually connect to your network. Keep it just outside your home for a while if possible.
This may very well not work - your problem might still be something wrong within your iPad itself, or the database update might fail. However if you can get access to an iPhone, it can't hurt to try. If it does work, it might take a few days before the database gets updated.