ipod's not recognized by itunes or my laptop. what do i do without restoring it???

i gave my ipod to my now ex boyfriend, he changed the passcode and won't tell me what it is. he also changed the name of the ipod from Marissa's iPod to dylans ipod. so my itunes tells me "iTunes could not connect to the iPod "Dylans ipod" because it is locked with a passcode. You must enter your passcode on the iPod before it can be used with iTunes." in other words, i'm screwed. i don't wanna restore it because my old laptop that had all of my music broke about a month and a half back and my ex and i listen to similar music so if i restored it i'd lose all of the music. plus i'm kinda curious as to what other stuff he put on my ipod while he had it. i don't care how weird that sounds lol. so if there's any way someone could help me, that'd be great. (iPod Touch 4th gen)