Best solution: Set Energy Saving Preferences to "Never Sleep". Cheapest , easiest, most sensible. Your mac may only last 7 years instead of 10, but Hey! Who's counting?
Seriously. I'm 90% sure that the problem is a combination of Apple's attempt to reconcile easy wireless networking and it's "green" desire to save energy by using sleep mode.
Bonjor Sleep Proxy protocol, Apple's solution, requires updates and/or new devices (router must be 802.11n capable and have firmware update).
Hence Apple's own recommendation to just set sleep to "never" - especially if you have a bunch of devices (IPhones with Itunes on them, I pod touch, apple TV, time machine, or possibly even printers) all trying to wirelessly network while your computer is asleep!
If you're not into networking all this stuff, all of the time, and you want your computer to sleep, you can try the following: 1) turn off "wake for network access" in network prefs, 2) turn off "file sharing" in sharing prefs and 3) uncheck "share my library on local networks" in Itunes Preferences. I would also: 4) do manual backups (if you're into backing up), and only infrequently, for I tunes, and Time machine. They might cause same problem trying to back up while computer is asleep. It's a mess.