After I realized that no help would come from this "over-trolled" topic, I decided to send a email to no one but Tim Cook, to tell him about the battery issue, letting him know about this topic, the Forbes article and even the "Apple's Vista" joke.
To tell you the truth, I didn't expected to be answered, but thought it would be worth the shot.
Believe it or not, just two days later I received a response from Chris W. B., Corporate Executive Relations, telling me that I woulb be contacted over phone to investigate the issue. Tonight, he called me (an one hour long international call to my cellphone in Brazil, actually), asked the machine serial number and some questions about the issue, then transfered the call to a technician named Patrick W.
He asked a few questions about open applications, Safari tabs and login items. Then he asked to send a report from system information, checked the battery status, made me e-mail him two screenshots from activity monitor (5 min lapse between them) and, finally, acknowledged there was really something wrong with the MacBook battery.
And this is the part where Mulligan Missus and CSound1 will get truly embarassed: he sent me over an e-mail an application called "Capture Data.app". This app, after some routines, created a file in my desktop named "ACCD_MacBookPro_1.dmg", which I sent back to Patrick and will be redirected to Apple engineers, who will be getting back to me tommorrow night, probably.
So, I can confirm that what Franc_Iphone said - and was ridicularized by Mulligan Missus and CSound1 - is absolutely true. There is such diagnosis tool and it really creates a file named ACCD, which is send to Apple engineering. So much for the trolls...
I'll let you know when Apple give me a definitive position about the issue.
< Edited By Host >