One other thing to add to problem #1:
This is what Console reports when I close the lid and the computer is not plugged in:
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: hibernate image path: /var/vm/sleepimage
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: sizeof(IOHibernateImageHeader) == 512
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: Opened file /var/vm/sleepimage, size 4294967296, partition base 0x0, maxio 400000 ssd 0
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: hibernate image major 14, minor 0, blocksize 512, pollers 5
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: hibernate_alloc_pages flags 00000000, gobbling 0 pages
7/23/11 11:54:12.000 PM kernel: hibernate_setup(0) took 0 ms
7/23/11 11:54:16.000 PM kernel: Ethernet [AppleBCM5701Ethernet]: Link down on en0
7/23/11 11:54:16.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:16.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0x00000000
7/23/11 11:54:16.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:16.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0x00000000
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: hibernate_page_list_setall start 0xffffff806b1f2000, 0xffffff806b23e000
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: hibernate_page_list_setall time: 205 ms
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: pages 745068, wire 219439, act 201397, inact 1681, spec 102, zf 567, throt 0, could discard act 105226 inact 142893 purgeable 16445 spec 57318
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: hibernate_page_list_setall found pageCount 423186
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOHibernatePollerOpen, ml_get_interrupts_enabled 0
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: IOHibernatePollerOpen(0)
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: writing 422892 pages
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: encryptStart 2e7e0
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: encryptEnd 13e9a560
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: image1Size 420123136, encryptStart1 2e7e0, End1 13e9a560
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: encryptStart 190a9200
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: encryptEnd 2daadd80
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: PMStats: Hibernate write took 11942 ms
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: all time: 11942 ms, comp bytes: 1732579328 time: 1787 ms 924 Mb/s, crypt bytes: 679938304 time: 4123 ms 157 Mb/s,
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: image 766172672, uncompressed 1732579328 (422993), compressed 762610128 (44%), sum1 7945ec95, sum2 5ce83887
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: wired_pages_encrypted 162386, wired_pages_clear 56860, dirty_pages_encrypted 203747
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: hibernate_write_image done(0)
7/23/11 11:54:29.000 PM kernel: sleep
7/23/11 11:54:29.598 PM configd: network configuration changed.
So, it went to sleep! YAY!!! Lid closed problem solved, right?
WRONG!!!
Plugged it back in to test (lidopen is when I opened it up, and then plugged it back in after typing in my password), closed the lid, and sure enough after waiting 2 minutes, it still hadn't gone to sleep....
7/23/11 11:54:57.000 PM kernel: Wake reason: EC.LidOpen (User)
7/23/11 11:54:57.000 PM kernel: Previous Sleep Cause: 5
7/23/11 11:54:57.000 PM kernel: Ethernet [AppleBCM5701Ethernet]: Wake reason GIGE - bonjour - pattern match
7/23/11 11:54:58.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:58.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0x00000000
7/23/11 11:54:58.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:58.000 PM kernel: IOThunderboltSwitch::i2cWriteDWord - status = 0xe00002ed
7/23/11 11:54:59.000 PM kernel: Ethernet [AppleBCM5701Ethernet]: Link up on en0, 100-Megabit, Full-duplex, Symmetric flow-control, Debug [796d,0300,0de1,0300,45e1,0000]
7/23/11 11:54:59.787 PM configd: network configuration changed.
7/23/11 11:55:00.415 PM configd: network configuration changed.
7/23/11 11:55:00.792 PM configd: network configuration changed.
7/23/11 11:55:10.864 PM UserEventAgent: ServermgrdRegistration cannot load config data
7/23/11 11:55:10.864 PM UserEventAgent: ServermgrdRegistration oldConfig is nil during net changed notification
7/23/11 11:55:20.000 PM kernel: IOSurface: buffer allocation size is zero
7/23/11 11:57:52.842 PM SystemUIServer: -[MDMenuWindow _checkTopRight] the window is off the screen topRight point is {1910, 778}
That last line is when I opened the lid back up. I believe that line is what explains the fact that I keep having to move my mouse way over off from the "extended desktop" (even though the secondary display is off!!)- I think that's indicating the position of the mouse cursor on the "secondary screen" (I put it in quotes, since the TV is hooked up, but off).