Similar issue and I apologize...didn't want to hijack this thread but can't figure out how to add new content.
I have a mixture of Airport Express', 2 fairly new and one older one. My Extreme is N-1. I have attached the airport utility screen shot for reference.
Years back on my older Extreme and Express' apple support had help me set up a WDS or something like that. Worked great. Since I have upgrade over the years I lost that capability and my wireless network hasn't been the same. Before it was linear:
AB----->AE1-------->AE2
|
------->AE3
Now I see it changing and its config to a flat topology
AB
________|____
| | |
AE1 AE2 AE3
All this would be OK if the network performance was good but I find myself having to restart the Base Station to create some issue/contention.
I also have one ATV wireless and one ATV hanging off of AE3.
I've tried using "extended" vs "join" AE1 hoping to reduce the number of access points. I must admit I'm not and expert here but I thought having all Apple would
make this easier and automatic.
Using NetSpot I can see my AE's go green to red indicating to me that something is wrong, like its fighting with the other device for its place.
I'm happy to go out and buy something new but I feel like it should work reliably so it must be something I'm doing wrong. I've attached some images for clarity.