T-mobile where? In the US? If so, T-mobile's network is not fully compatible with the iPhone. You can't even get 3G data speeds on the iPhone with T-Mobile in the US.
Tethering relies on carrier support. If they support it where you are, you will need to subscribe to a tethering plan and they will have to provision your account for it, at which time it will become visible on the phone and you can turn it on.
If you are outside the U.S. It appears from this list that T-Mobile supports tethering (mobile hotspot) almost everywhere they offer service for the iPhone. http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1937
Outside the U.S. getting tethering active is as simple as a phone call or a visit to your local T-Mobile shop. In the U.S., even if you can get them to activate it on your account, there is no garuntee it will work.