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Here's the thing. When I try to go through the steps
in the action "manually", I am not able to paste the
ACR version into the Aperture PSD. What happens is I
choose select all, then copy, then close the ACR
version... and then when I go up to the "Edit" menu
to select "paste", it is greyed out. I can't for the
life of me figure out why this works in the action
but won't work when I go though it myself.
Finally, I tried re-opening the white file from
Aperture "in external editor" and it opens into
Photoshop white as well. In the layers palette the
original image (the exported version from Aperture,
not the one I adjusted from Photoshop) is clearly
visible in the background layer, with one all-white
layer on top. I imagine this is very confusing... I
hope you can make sense of it!
The last part actually made the most sense to me...
It really seems like just as you are noticing in the manual operations, something is going wrong in the process of selecting the ACR image and pasting it into the exported PSD. That all-white layer is a giveaway that something in the pasting process is going wrong in the action, and basically just creating an all-new layer that has nothing in it. My guess is if you remove that all-white layer and save the file that returning to Aperture would show you the background image from the file.
I am not sure what could be going wrong there except that it could be the process you are trying does not work well with CS, and needs CS2 to work properly. I have not tried the whole smart object approach posted earlier so I am not really sure of problems that may arise.
Have you thought about batch-converting your RAW files in Photoshop ACR to 16-bit TIFF files and importing them instead? You'll still get the same degree of flexibility in alterations you can make to the images. You can even edit these TIFF masters directly in Aperture through the Finder without going through Aperture, if you want to save a little space and avoid the creation of a new version for some Photoshop work.
You can also import 8-bit TIFF files as well but if you plan to do any alterations it's really better to work with 16-bit images from the start as it gives you the maximum ability to work with tones in an image without posterization.