The solution that I eventually figured out is a rather simple one, that can verry easily be overlooked, IMHO. There were TWO options that i changed.
On the summary page of your device, in iTunes (10.5) with iOs 5.0
FIRST—there is a "Backup" section that has two radio button options. one says back up to iCloud and the other says to back up to this computer. i simply checked the backup to this computer option.
SECOND–In the "Options" section i unchecked TWO options... the 'sync with this iPod over Wi–Fi' (dont think this was the problem, but it helps to have a faster sync and data transfer over to your device); and Manually manage music and videos (not sure why this would make it so i cant play my music but oh well).
Since i made these two changes, i havent had any problems with playing my music or placing new music onto my device...
hope this helps somebody else at some point down the line.