How can I stop iMessages from going to *all* of our devices?

You make a separate Apple ID and just use that for iMessage (and probably iCloud, but not the iTunes Store). You can enter it at Settings > Messages > Receive At > Apple ID. You are not required to use the same Apple ID for every service on your device.

Ok, so I desired this same result with iMessages, however I still want photo stream to work among my 2 devices and my wife's iPhone. It doesn't look like you can have 2 iCloud accounts on the same device. I can have multiple email, contact, and calendars being synced, but only one iMessage/Photo Stream account. Any help here?

Everyone can still use the same Apple ID. What you need to do is go into - "Settings" , "Messages", "Receive At", and add a different Email for each user for where they can be reached for messages at. Once you have added a new Email to each device delete the original Email that was there which should have been the same as your Apple ID. Then when you send a new message, send the message to the Email for that person that was just added to their iPhone. There is no need for each family member to create their own Apple ID just to use iMessage. Each family member would only need to create their own Apple ID if everyone wanted to use iCloud and not have all family members data, contacts, calendars, etc sync together. If you are also using FaceTime between iPhones do the the same thing in the FaceTime settings.

Eklab has the correct answer. You don't need to create additional Apple IDs. Just add the new email address as he describes and remove the original.

Thanks Eklab this is a much easier solution, than the one featured.

AllKyle, you are welcome. Glad that I could help.

Hi :) maybe you could help me too,, I added a new email to my iPad for iMessages but am unable to remove the email that is my apple ID...

Ha ha I got it!!!!

Just figured this one out.. When I would iMessage someone from my MacBook or iPad I would get texts back on all three devices (iPhone too). I simply turned off iMessage for my apple id in settings>messages>receive at. Now I will only get replies from iMessage convos I start from my MacBook or iPad on those devices and no longer my phone as well. Made things much easier.

what if i go into my messaging on my iphone and where it says send and recieve at i delete it all except for my phone number will it still go to ipad cause i took the email right out that should work or am i wrong?