I don't know if you have this issue solved by now since it's been two months since your post, but I did have the same trouble. The funny thing is, the fix/solution was pretty simple in my case.
Now, I did not read all of the post on here, but here is what I did just now (kind of silly, but it solved the problem):
- connected iPad 2 to my MacBook Pro (or your computer with iTunes)
- launched iTunes
- under Devices on iTunes, clicked iPad 2
- scrolled down the main window to Options
- put a check mark on "Sync with this iPad over Wi-Fi
- clicked "Apply" to apply change
on the iPad 2, under Settings-General-iTunes Wi-Fi Sync, "Sync Now" is now active or black and not greyed out!
If you have done these steps already, and it's still not working for you, I'm sorry then that the issue is more complex than mine.
Good luck and good cheers to all this Christmas!