Syncing iPhone 4S with Macbook Pro

I just got the 4S. It's working great on it's own, but I'm having 3 problems.

1. I can't get my iphone and my macbook to sync contacts and calendars. I clicked sync and I get a warning saying that "Your contacts...are being synced with iCloud...." But I don't have Lion, so do I even have access to iCloud with my computer? How do I sync my contacts, and calendars??? Also how do I transfer files (like a .txt or ms Word file) between my computer and my phone?

2. I downloaded Remote here so that I can control iTunes on my computer from across the room. My phone is iOS5, my computer is Leopard 10.5.8, my iTunes is 10.5. I installed everything as instructed. Now on my phone it says "Turn on Home Sharing in your iTunes on your computer...", which I have done but nothing has changed. I also went into iTunes/preferences/devices and I see my phone under "Device Backups", so I click on it but nothing happens.

3. Bluetooth: On my phone bluetooth is ON. I find my phone on my computer and select "connect to network", and I get this: "There was a prolem connecting to your device. Make sure the device is on, in range, and paired correctly...." I've double checked in bluetooth preferences on both devices. Everything is on and running, but I'm unable to connect. What the heck is going wrong here?????

These are 3 MAJOR reasons I switched to the new iphone from droid: to easily sync to my macbook, to remotely control itunes, and to easily transfer files via bluetooth. So far the phone by itself is fine, but I'm left VERY disappointed because of these 3 fundamental things. Please help.