In /var/log/caldavd/error.log I see
XmlStream,client] [twistedcaldav.notify.XMPPNotifier#error] PubSub node configuration error: <error code='403' type='auth'><forbidden xmlns='urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:xmpp-stanzas'/></error>
I see the following processes:
_jabber 183 0,0 0,1 2471888 5992 ?? S 6:38pm 0:02.33 /usr/libexec/jabberd/s2s -c /etc/jabberd_notification/s2s.xml
_jabber 182 0,0 0,1 2471860 6356 ?? S 6:38pm 0:02.40 /usr/libexec/jabberd/c2s -c /etc/jabberd_notification/c2s.xml
_jabber 181 0,0 0,1 2437448 5304 ?? S 6:38pm 0:00.44 /usr/libexec/jabberd/router -c /etc/jabberd_notification/router.xml
_jabber 180 0,0 0,1 2472440 6660 ?? S 6:38pm 0:02.55 /usr/libexec/jabberd/sm -c /etc/jabberd_notification/sm.xml
_jabber 73 0,0 0,1 2438536 4400 ?? Ss 6:38pm 0:00.08 perl -w -x /usr/libexec/jabberd/jabberd -c /etc/jabberd_notification/jabberd.cfg
The output of sudo serveradmin settings calendar:Notifications is:
calendar:Notifications:CoalesceSeconds = 3
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:CalDAV:SubscriptionURL = "http://myserver:8080/subscription"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:CalDAV:APSBundleID = "com.apple.calendar.XServer.d7174125-1f10-45cb-bddb-5f30a3e7c62b"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:Host = "myserver"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:CardDAV:SubscriptionURL = "http://myserver:8080/subscription"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:CardDAV:APSBundleID = "com.apple.contact.XServer.2cb13f54-1305-43f1-8d84-2379759e1c27"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:JID = "com.apple.notificationuser@myserver"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:Enabled = yes
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:Service = "twistedcaldav.notify.XMPPNotifierService"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:Password = "pvZA3f2YBSqa9HaC"
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:Port = 5218
calendar:Notifications:Services:XMPPNotifier:ServiceAddress = "pubsub.myserver"
The output of serveradmin settings notification:jabberdClientPortTLS is:
notification:jabberdClientPortTLS = 5218
Hope this helps.