iTunes Wifi Sync Issues

After updating my Mac to Lion & IOS5 on both iPhone & iPad, wifi iTunes syncing seemed to work fine for the iPhone but for the iPad it took forever (hours) every time.

It shows all my photos, songs, videos, etc. being loaded onto the iPad each time, even though I'd only made a change or two since the last sync. It was like it was restoring from backup or setting up a brand new device. On the iPhone it syncs in just a minute or two & only upates the changes.

Now, out of the blue, every time I try to sync the iPad, either on wifi or with USB cable, as soon as I connect the iPad it locks up iTunes.

I see everyone saying to turn off the wifi syncing in iTunes but I cannot get to the page where you set all your choices for syncing, song & photo transfer, etc. I can see the iPad in the Library but I cannot select it. As soon as I unplug the USB cable it shows the iPad option screen for a split second & then iTune is no longer frozen & works perfectly otherwise.

I have tried turning off wifi on both the iPad & Mac becasue it is only supposed to synce when they are both on the same wifi but it still shows my iPad in the Library list, even though it is not on wifi or connected to the Mac via USB.

I have also gone into the iTune Prefs & turned on the "Prevent devices from syncing automatically" switch & nothing works.

Any help on how I can get this thing to stop trying to sync via wifi & go back to the old USB way?

Many Thanks!