iPhone/Lan Headaches: Network not "seeing" phone until Apple Remote is used.

I have an Verizon iPhone 4, running iOS 5.0.1, itunes 10.5.1 and an Actiontec Router (MI-424WR)

Success with wifi iPhone syncing has been sporadic and tempermental.

Today, however, after the upgrade to iTunes 10.5.1, I noticed several things:

1) My iPhone was connected to my wireless network. I verified this by browsing over to whatismyip.com and noting that the external IP of my phone was coming from my router.

2) I could not ping my phone from other computers on the network.

3) I could not see my phone from iTunes. After syncing my phone with a cable and wi-fi syncing enabled, I still could not see my phone without a physical connection.

4) I could not see my phone from Spotify (as a second software check) via wifi.

Then I opened up Apple Remote

1) Apple Remote successfully found and controlled my iTunes library.

2) Immediately, I could ping my iPhone, and Spotify was able to sync with it via wifi.

3) After a physical sync, iTunes then comminicated with the phone wirelessly.

Approximately 10 minutes later, wifi connection (ping, spotify) no longer worked with the phone.

1) The phone remained "present" in iTunes - it was listed - but attempts to sync timed out.

2) Opened Apple Remote. Apple remote found library.

3) Ping phone successful

4) Spotify finding phone over wifi

5) WiFi Phone syncing working.

What the heck?