iPhone 4S speakers not working on calls and Apples shocking customer service

Today, just three weeks after buying my brand new iPhone 4S the speakers completely gave up for making and sending calls and on speakerphone the interference is painful. After an hour in the Orange shop I had to go home and restore the phone on Apple's instructions. Predictably this didn't work - why would it?! So I call Apple again and I'm told they'll give me a replacement and I have three options -

1) I post them my phone and I get one back from them SEVEN days later. Told them I can't go that long without a phone so we move to option 2...

2) Go to an Apple store. I live in Edinburgh - nearest store is 70 miles away in Glasgow!

3) They send me a new phone by UPS and pick up the old one but, and this is the good bit, they want ME to pay £29 for the privilege!!!!

A three week old phone and rather than bending over backwards to apologise and make it right they think it's OK to ask me for money! So thanks to the teacher's strike tomorrow myself and my son are on a day trip to Glasgow just to get my iPhone replaced.

This service is as bizarre as it is appalling. If it had been any other phone such as the Samsung Galaxy SII I so clearly should have got then I'd just have been given a new phone in the shop I got it in. But no, not with an Apple. This is my first experience of Apple, my first iPhone. I have a two year contract but I have VERY long memory.....