HI all, hope this helps.
I recently checked out the web and this forum typing the usual question how do I remote access or control my iPad/iPhone and the usual rubbish comes up with support software that sort of works but does not do what you want or the usual idiots that start the sentence "well if you jail break it" derrrr.
First off People who ask this usually work in a support environment with 100 + iPhone/iPad users and since we support remotely and there is nothing that seems to work how we know you want it to so YOU as the support person have to get a bit creative.
Step 1. Get a laptop, desktop or Mac book onsite that you can access via remote software. We use Citrix go to assist but team viewer is also good and logmein is another one. They all claim to access iPad's & iPhones but forget it, they do not do this in the way you want to.
Step 2. Make sure the end user or your dad, mum, whoever has http://www.airsquirrels.com/ reflector installed on the iPad or iPhone. Again other products must be available we just happened to use this one. Actually came across it when we were shooting a video for a backup application we sell and used it to beam iPad on screen and controlled + filmed from the pc/Mac.
Step 3. The user needs to click on the reflector app and selects your remote PC/Mac (You will also need the reflector software installed on this PC/Mac). Since you are on the remote device using VNC or what ever remote access software you have YOU can now fully control the users iPhone/iPad in the way you all ask the question in the 1st place.
Yep it is a ball ache and yes this is so much easer on any other phone/tablet OS but this works and until some smart a*$e comes out with something else this is the only fully visual work around I have found. It would really help if the people who sold remote access software stated that you can not actually control the users screen remotely and no we do not want ruddy screen shots and it's not a viable alternative.
The steps above work 100% boys and girls so I hope it helps at least one person on the planet.
PS before you ask I work for none of the companies above, I am just letting you know what I use or have used in the past.