That information pretty much indicates the battery is completely failed or there is a short that is not allowing the computer to even see the battery. Best solution would be a visit to an Apple genius bar, have them test the computer to make sure it is nothing more than the battery, and replace the battery if you can.
Another possibility, and a good one, is that the battery is not properly seated and therefore is not making a good connection to the computer at the contacts in the battery compartment. And another is that the cable running from those contacts to the logic board has worked loose at its LB end.
Remove the battery and check both sides of its connection for dirt, corrosion and debris. Then reseat it and test again.