I just got my iPhone 4s yesterday, and already noticed something similar to this. I got a plan with only 100mbs per month thinking that since I would be using my wi-fi for my actual internet browsing I wouldn't go over the limit...I managed to go over it in one day. It seems that instead of just using wi-fi to download the apps I got, the music I download from my itunes purchases and any browsing, it was using the 3G as well.
So, I think that's the problem. Rather than just using all of our wi-fi, which is seems most of us believe it's using exclusively, the iPhone is using both and that's raking up major data usages. Since finding out I was already over my limit yesterday, I have been turning off the 3G and Cellular Usage when I decide to use Safari, download new apps, or to use my apps that use the internet, and I've only used 2mbs since then...so that defintiely helped. I've even downloaded apps and that hasn't added any charges. However, it's pretty ridiculous to have to shut off your actual cell service to use any kind of browsing features. I'm going to keep looking, but I'm hoping that there's a way to change it so that when wi-fi is connected, it's used exclusively to download, upload, and do any kind of data exchange. I've also shut off Siri after learning from you all that she uses tonnes of data. I did use her today though, and when I had 3G off she didn't use too much.
I hope that helps everyone else kind of figure out what's going on, but I'm pretty positive that it has something to do with the whole wi-fi and Cellular data usage. If anyone has found out how to make it so that Cellular Data doesn't get used when wi-fi is connected, while also keeping cell service, I'd love to know because every time I turn off 3G I also lose service. By the way, I'm in Canada, so I definitely agree that it seems to be a hardware problem rather than a problem with the cell providers. It's too widespread to be our providers.
Thanks for sharing what you've all learned. I'm going to keep looking and if I find anything else, I'll be sure to let you all know.
Note: I was thinking before that it was just the 3G, but I'm thinking it must be more the Cellular Data. I've been turning both off so I wasn't sure whihc was helping, but maybe when I googled some more, I found that if you turn of Cell. Data and keep 3G, you should still get messages and calls, and not use up data. Frankly I don't mind doing that if it won't cause charges. (This forum helped: https://discussions.apple.com/thread/3995759?start=0&tstart=0). So, hopefully that'll solve problems. Although by the sounds of it, several have already figured out to turn it off.