Thank you for the clarification.
iCal for OS X (your computer) is a different program than the Calendar.app for iOS (your iPad). Consequently, some of the features in iCal are not mirrored on iPad.
The preferences available on iPad can be found on the iPad in Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars > Calendars.
If the preference you are looking for does not exist on iPad, it can't sync from iCal on the computer.
If there is a specific preference you want on iPad, let Apple know: http://www.apple.com/feedback/ipad.html
As your question is ultimately about iPad and not iCal, you might want to try posting it in the iPad forum to see if there are any available work arounds: https://discussions.apple.com/community/ipad/using_ipad
Cheers!