my iPhone is disabled, how do i fix it

Please be more specific. What do you mean by "disabled"? And what do you mean by "my iTunes is not letting me reset it"?

Did you manage to reset? I also have this prob and cannot get t he itunes to communicate to the phone and or the phone to the itunes

Basic troubleshooting steps clearly outlined in the User Guide are restart, reset, restore from backup, restore as NEW.

If the basic troubleshooting steps don't work, then you'll need to bring your phone into Apple for evaluation and probable replacement.