Lilia2

Q: Parental controls/time restrictions on iPhone

I can safely say that my daughter's iPhone has ruined our lives.  We've had it for five days.  Yes, there are some built-in parental controls, but Apple has blocked anybody from offering a software program that will turn the dang thing off (I'm talking about texting and calling) at a certain time every night.  I have a daughter who is addicted to her phone and the battles are humongous to get her to do anything but text. 

 

There are plenty of good programs with good parental controls for the Android and Blackberry, but thanks Apple for not allowing us as parents to turn the phone off at night.  I know about Mobicip, which is a great company, but they can only turn the internet off, not texting or calling.  When you have a kid who can and will text 5,000 texts a month, we need something that eliminates the battles at home and can automatically turn the thing off when it's bedtime.  We're all losing sleep.  Most parents, when they get an iPhone for their kid, don't realize that Apple, unlike Android, has chosen to place more importance on children's privacy than parent's ability to place restrictions on their kids' phones.  I plan to take the iPhone back and get her an Android.

iPhone 4S, iOS 4.3.3, Time restrictions?

Posted on Mar 27, 2012 7:49 AM

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Q: Parental controls/time restrictions on iPhone

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  • by emerett,

    emerett emerett Aug 8, 2013 7:33 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Aug 8, 2013 7:33 PM in response to Lilia2

    I read everyones replies and its a little ridiculous. Judging you as a parent is not fair. However I do see both of your points and I just had to comment becuase it bothered me. We had the same problem with our son. He was caught playing games and texting on his phone until the morning hours. He would wake up so tired the next day and we finally figured out why. I thought about putting conrols on his phone but then I realized that its something I shouldnt need to do becuase he isnt 7 yrs old anymore. He is 13 which means that he is old enough to know the rules, and to obey them. If he doesnt, he has consequences. So I restored his iphone to factory settings  sothat he no longer has any apps on his phone (I allowed music) changed the security on our itunes account so he is not able to download anything and removed the texting plan on his phone. I also took his phone away at night (which, yes as you mentioned was a battle, however that is my job as a parent is to battle to teach him lessons) After about a week he got used to it and did not argue anymore.

    Little by little he was given priveledges back but was told that I would be monitoring every bit of activity on his phone and that if he broke the rules again, the consequences would be much worse. There were a couple hiccups along the way, but 3 months later, after monitoring, he now abides by the rules and we have not had any issues.

    So long story short, I think what people are trying to say is that you could be a little bit tougher on her, because yes you are the parent, and you make the rules, not her. She has to learn to respect you as a parent and to respect the rules you set in place. You should monitor her texts to make sure she does what you ask. I agree that it is hard and tiring to even have to do these things, you would rather just set the limits and not deal with it. But in my personal opinion that is just taking the easy way out.

    I am not judging your parenting skills in any way, I think some people in earlier posts said some harsh words and were very rude, but I do understand their point. These posts are very old and most likely you have forgotten or already resolved the issue but I just felt bad that people were so rude to you and thought maybe I could rephrase a little bit nicer.

  • by haazeeB,

    haazeeB haazeeB Aug 25, 2013 11:09 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Aug 25, 2013 11:09 PM in response to Lilia2

    Are you for real or a simply a troll. Maybe your kid would have a better relationship with you if s/he didn't have his or her face planted in front of a phone all day. Be the MAN or WOMAN you ought to be and take the phone away. Watch your child change when the distraction is removed. We had the same difficulty with televixion. We threw the television in the trash 7 years ago and our three children read, play games and don't constantly ask us to buy things they see on TV. Get real with life. You want to have a good relationship with your child. Spend some time giving them your undivided attention. Protect them from the Social Networking Machine that seeks to take over their life!

  • by bevatore,

    bevatore bevatore Aug 26, 2013 5:18 AM in response to haazeeB
    Level 1 (5 points)
    Aug 26, 2013 5:18 AM in response to haazeeB

    Thank you, haazeeB!!

  • by JenniJar,

    JenniJar JenniJar Aug 29, 2013 3:16 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Aug 29, 2013 3:16 PM in response to Lilia2

    I am sure this is not even a concern anymore based on the date of this entry, but yes the phone carriers (like Verizon Wireless which I have for my family) do have parental controls for talk and text for the iphone.  They also have data usage blocks that will help with things like e-mails and social media.  The hard ones to block are games once they are already downloaded to a phone...

  • by 7forGood,

    7forGood 7forGood Sep 24, 2013 6:38 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Sep 24, 2013 6:38 PM in response to Lilia2

    I enjoy my iPhone and iPad.  However, I will not get iPhones or iPads for my boys until Apple allows me the ability restrict iMessaging.  If they want additional business, they will fix this.

     

    AT&T does have something call Smart Limits that does place limits on texting and phone calls.  However, it does not block instant messaging (iMessaging), which is effectively another form of texting.

     

    Apple provides Restrictions.  From what I understand, this is intended to provide parents with the tools to limit access to thing parents might not want their children to access.  It works well.  With Apple Restrictions (Settings, General, Restrictions), a parent can add the apps that would be useful to their child, block internet browsing (really by deleting the Safari App), and restrict the ability to add and delete apps.  This allows the child to safely have some internet access, for, say, GPS or weather apps, and allows the child to make phone calls (which can be restricted using AT&T's Smart Limits) ... but this does not allow for the restricting of iMessaging.  After providing Restrictions, so that the parent can restrict so much, why would they then not allow parents to restrict iMessaging.  This would complete the package, in my view, and give Apple some more happy customers ... my boys.

  • by 7forGood,

    7forGood 7forGood Sep 24, 2013 7:04 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Sep 24, 2013 7:04 PM in response to Lilia2

    Correction:  If one turns iMessaging off, and goes to Settings, General, Restrictions ... and enable Restrictions ... and go down to Accounts, one can then select "Don't Allow Changes".  So, following these steps, iMessaging an be restricted.  Texting can be restricted.  Indeed, this is a complete package.

     

    I should have read all of the previous posts.

     

    So, now that I know this, I can get my boys iPhones for Christmas.

  • by mkk177,

    mkk177 mkk177 Oct 8, 2013 8:19 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 8, 2013 8:19 PM in response to Lilia2

    You would think with all the great Parents that answered this that kids today would be better than years ago.  NOT.  All I can say is that I feel for your problem.  Its a serious problem.  And there are a few good suggestions but as for the judgemental crap, they all need to shut up and get their own kids in line, and keep their noses in their own lives instead of the Reality TV world that they want to be part of.  As one person posted, there are now some carriers that offer ways to control what is going on with the phone.  I myself am going through something the same.  Although I am probably not nearly as nice as most people would be.  I am also trying to devise a plan that is more embarrassing.  If what I plan works I will post it.  If not, I will not waste anyones time.

  • by JenniJar,

    JenniJar JenniJar Oct 9, 2013 6:18 AM in response to 7forGood
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 9, 2013 6:18 AM in response to 7forGood

    I still have trouble with not being able to restrict the games once they are loaded.  For example, my teenager plays games I'm perfectly fine with and he conencts to wifi.  Because of this, limited data is being used and I am not able to restrict him from playing them all night long.  I walked in the other night at 1:30am on a school night and his phone was lit up like he had clearly JUST been using it before he heard me open his door and laid it down quickly to fake sleeping.  I have yet to find a way of controlling that... and I don't know about anyone else, but my son isn't exactly thrilled about me taking his phone and going through the restriction options...

  • by KiltedTim,

    KiltedTim KiltedTim Oct 9, 2013 6:23 AM in response to JenniJar
    Level 9 (56,349 points)
    Mac OS X
    Oct 9, 2013 6:23 AM in response to JenniJar

    Try actually being a parent. Take the phone away. Problem solved.

  • by tikitorch6,

    tikitorch6 tikitorch6 Oct 14, 2013 1:14 AM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 14, 2013 1:14 AM in response to Lilia2

    I came across this post, while looking for a way to limit what my young daughter can access on my phone, and yes I occasionally let my 4 year old daughter play some games on my phone.  There actually are some great educational apps out there.

     

    But what prompted me to post was some of the riduculous responses here.  KiltedTim...you need to relax!  You're not helping anything.  I looked up your profile and saw that you are a Marine.  I thank you and commend you for your service.  But, this is a support forum, not the barracks.  People looking for legitimate answers to legitimate questions. 

     

    We use technology every day to make our lives easier....communications, directions, banking, research, you name it. And IF we can use it to better monitor our children, to allow them access to the many benefits of the digital age, while alternatively maintaining controls to help protect them from the pitfalls of the same...then heck yes we should do it.  And, when that doesn't work and it's time to battle, then we as parents should be prepared to do so.

     

    But you, of all people, should understand the benefit of winning the battle before the fighting even starts.  It seems to me that many on here are simply exploring what "weapons" they have at their disposal.  It's smart, and if Apple would loosen it's grip, it could quite possibly be very effective. 

  • by Gregg Fowler,

    Gregg Fowler Gregg Fowler Oct 14, 2013 8:41 AM in response to Gregg Fowler
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 14, 2013 8:41 AM in response to Gregg Fowler

    Follow up to my earlier message to describe what I've been doing to date.  As mentioned earlier, don't need the "you just need to manage your kids" message.  This is hopefully something that could be helpful to others.

     

    My goal as mentioned is to allow kids to use devices during weekends more freely (not completely unrestricted), but tightly restrict what they can do during the week.

     

    Two kids -- 11 and 12. 

    What I've been doing is this:

    * Baseline I've set up restrictions to filter out things as well as I can.

    * I've chosen to disallow the browser completely, at all times.  If they want to use a web browser, user the Mac that we have in the house, high visibility.

    * I've also disabled in-app purchases, and installing / deleting apps.  I've also updated their itunes accounts so that they don't have a credit card associated with it.  I haven't installed anything recently on these, but if I had to I'd prefer to use a gift card, and give credit to their account that they can then spend without concern of it digging into my credit card.

    * I don't want them doing email at all at this point, so I haven't set up an account at all.

    * Finally, KEY FEATURE: I've disabled ALL applications by default (other than the default applications).  I don't love this, since I can't enable something that I feel would be useful (e.g.: a third party calculator), but it keeps them more focused during the week.

     

     

    * So in terms of restrictions:

         - Restrictions always enabled

         - Safari, Facetime, iTunes Store, installing Apps, In-app purchases at base-line are disabled

         - All of the rating stuff set to try and filter contetn.  And with ios7, you can set it to try to filter adult websites (as noted, I've disabled browsers in general, but good to turn that on as well in case I temporarily enable the browser for some reason).

        - Twitter, Facebook disabled

        - Disable Account changes -- this is important, prevents them from adding new addresses, and from changing certain settings on their accounts

        - Cellular Data Use (new to ios7) - I've disabled Cellular completely at times.  At other times I've enabled it, but then disabled it for any app that might send a large amount of data.  E.g.: in ios7, enable it, then disable for most apps, and then separately go to iTunes and App Store preferences and disable it for that.  Finally, in Restrictions, disable changing Cellular settings.  >> I've had a couple of times where it was left enabled, and kids allowed it to "update" an app while they were away from the house, and we got close to our data limit (or they were using iRadio, and it started using up data).  ios7 has improved things, but its still a pain in the XYZ.

     

     

    Now, each Friday afternoon, we unlock the existing apps -- that is about the only setting I change (I leave Restrictions on, just change the one setting), and they can then use games and other apps that are installed.  Then each Sunday evening, I relock all apps, and they can't.  Its a hassle, but somewhat manageable (as long as I remember to do it on Sunday).

     

    When its locked this way, its down to a phone, with iMessage enabled and email enabled or disabled depending on your preference.  I want them to be able to use iMessage to communicate with us and others, but have to manually manage the time limits, and periodically review.  So what we end up doing is:

    * They know I can review their phone's imessage communication, and I do periodically.  This is still my biggest concern, so I have to monitor it.

    * WHile working on homework , phone has to be visible / plugged in in the kitchen

    * Phone has to be plugged in at night by ~8 in kitchen.

     

    Would be a lot easier to manage if

         (a) I could set up a profile for these features so that the unlocking and relocking I do each weekend could be handled more easily

     

     

         (b) once you have a profile, would be great if that could then be scheduled, so that the weekend lock / unlock could be done automatically, and so that iMessage (whether for imessage or sms) could be enabled only at certain times of the day.

     

         (c) would be nice if I could have all iMessage trails (whether done via imessaging or SMS) synced automatically to something I could as a parent review offline.   E.g.: website or email notification.   Its a hassle to have to review it on their phones, and there is nothing preventing them from deleting message trails theoretically.

     

         (d) the "cellular" settings are improved in ios7, but could be better.  E.g.: Should have a Default to On / Default to Off setting, and then you can change settings to override.  E.g.: I'd rather default everything to off, and then ONLY turn it on for iMessage.  Most of these settings are in the Cellular Settings page, but then you have the settings separately under iTunes and App Store and the restrictions page -- it should all be co-located.

     

        (e) would be nice if I could restrict incoming and outgoing texts to an approved list.  You can somewhat do that by limiting contacts, and you can explicitly block addresses, but again, from a kid perspective, I'd rather it be somewhat like the xbox settings where I can approve who they can interact with, and incoming / outgoing requests have to go through me.

  • by AmandaRo,

    AmandaRo AmandaRo Oct 16, 2013 9:32 AM in response to Gregg Fowler
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 16, 2013 9:32 AM in response to Gregg Fowler

    Gregg

    thanks for all that!! VERY useful

    My child has an iphone5 with IOS7.  Is there a way to disable (and lock settings) imessage?

     

    I can manage/count texts with ATT parental controls - but not imessage.  The wifi at school blocks social media but not imessage use.  Our home wifi does also not know how to block/disable imessage use.

     

    I do not know how to lock Cellular settings as you suggested in your post

     

    Thanks in advance!
    Amanda

  • by Meg St._Clair,

    Meg St._Clair Meg St._Clair Oct 16, 2013 10:01 AM in response to AmandaRo
    Level 9 (59,537 points)
    iPhone
    Oct 16, 2013 10:01 AM in response to AmandaRo

    AmandaRo wrote:

     

      Our home wifi does also not know how to block/disable imessage use.

    You will need to consult the instructions for your particular router so that you will know how to do it.

     

    Best of luck.

  • by Gregg Fowler,

    Gregg Fowler Gregg Fowler Oct 16, 2013 4:51 PM in response to Meg St._Clair
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 16, 2013 4:51 PM in response to Meg St._Clair

    Yes, you can turn off imessage --

     

    See following link, basically you turn off imessage in the messaging settings, and then you turn on a restriction disallowing them from changing Account settings.

     

    That covers iMessages, don't know if that covers SMS (text) messages, but it sounds like you've covered that separately.

     

    G

  • by Gregg Fowler,

    Gregg Fowler Gregg Fowler Oct 16, 2013 4:52 PM in response to Gregg Fowler
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Oct 16, 2013 4:52 PM in response to Gregg Fowler
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