Lilia2

Q: Parental controls/time restrictions on iPhone

I can safely say that my daughter's iPhone has ruined our lives.  We've had it for five days.  Yes, there are some built-in parental controls, but Apple has blocked anybody from offering a software program that will turn the dang thing off (I'm talking about texting and calling) at a certain time every night.  I have a daughter who is addicted to her phone and the battles are humongous to get her to do anything but text. 

 

There are plenty of good programs with good parental controls for the Android and Blackberry, but thanks Apple for not allowing us as parents to turn the phone off at night.  I know about Mobicip, which is a great company, but they can only turn the internet off, not texting or calling.  When you have a kid who can and will text 5,000 texts a month, we need something that eliminates the battles at home and can automatically turn the thing off when it's bedtime.  We're all losing sleep.  Most parents, when they get an iPhone for their kid, don't realize that Apple, unlike Android, has chosen to place more importance on children's privacy than parent's ability to place restrictions on their kids' phones.  I plan to take the iPhone back and get her an Android.

iPhone 4S, iOS 4.3.3, Time restrictions?

Posted on Mar 27, 2012 7:49 AM

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Q: Parental controls/time restrictions on iPhone

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  • by sdjb0212,

    sdjb0212 sdjb0212 Nov 4, 2013 9:42 AM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 4, 2013 9:42 AM in response to Lilia2

    Lilia2, I understand your pain. I have the exact same problem. I have a 14 yr old who's addicted. This issue has nothing to do with your parenting skills. Most of these posters don't know what its like to parent a teen in the technological world we live in today. They're thinking back to a time when what the parent said was supreme and the children had a fear of the consequences they would face if they disobeyed their parents. Well not today. My daughter is an addict. I go through this very battle every night. I have to take my daughters phone every night or else she will stay up all night texting, kiking, facetiming, etc. When I first started taking her phone she would wait until I was asleep and come down to my room and take it back. The nerve of her. Pause...posters on the high horse I know what you're thinking, punish her, take the phone again, take something else from her, heaven help us if we spank them...now what? In the society we live in today you need a GPS unit on your child and the cell phone just happens to be it. I track my daughters every move with an app called Life360 (which is pretty much useless thanks to the update to ios 7). When I was growing up there was no need for 24/7 tracking but today is a different time. There are crazies out there that want to abduct kids and do horrible things to them. So I had two options, not give my child a cell phone and worry all day about her safety or get her one and track her like Jason Bourne. I opted to get her the phone. I never in a million years thought I would have to sleep with her phone attached to my body! Even with the phone attached to my body at night, I still do not get a good nights sleep. Why?? Because my daughter paces back and forth chewing her nails nervously because she doesn't have her phone. Her fix...she waits it out until I drift off and takes my iphone!!! So the war wedges on... I now have to sleep with two iphones attached to my body. Crazy!! I don't have this problem with the tv or computer. I can lock those and she hasn't figured out how to get around that. I am open for any and all suggestions on how to handle my defiant teen. Its not as simple as having parenting skills these days...you have to have parenting skills that are effective for this generation. If Lilia2 or I didn't have any parenting skills we wouldn't care if our teens stayed up all hours of the night, slept in school, etc. etc. etc. Think outside the box folks!

  • by KiltedTim,

    KiltedTim KiltedTim Nov 4, 2013 10:29 AM in response to sdjb0212
    Level 9 (56,496 points)
    Mac OS X
    Nov 4, 2013 10:29 AM in response to sdjb0212

    Your daughter needs professional help. Technology isn't going to fix that. You called her an addict. If she truly has addictive personality disorder, then the phone is just her 'drug of choice' right now. If you eliminate that problem, another will arise to take its place.

  • by Rohit Prakash,

    Rohit Prakash Rohit Prakash Nov 14, 2013 9:55 AM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (4 points)
    Nov 14, 2013 9:55 AM in response to Lilia2

    This discussion has devolved into ad hominen personal attacks on the original poster by those who have no clue what her personal situation might be - and a complete tangential discussion to the question. Very surprised Apple allows this.

     

    The capability should be there. Period.  Then we can decide how best to use it.

     

    There is no reason why Apple should not have time controls. It is in Mac OS. The capabilities are obviously there if you look at Do Not Disturb in iOS7.  Something very similar should be developed via "restrictions" for time control with access to emergency/approved phone number and that is it.  No reason it can't be done.

  • by KiltedTim,

    KiltedTim KiltedTim Nov 14, 2013 9:59 AM in response to Rohit Prakash
    Level 9 (56,496 points)
    Mac OS X
    Nov 14, 2013 9:59 AM in response to Rohit Prakash

    Rohit Prakash wrote:

     

    The capability should be there. Period.

    It's not. Period.

     

    The reasons that Apple does or not do anything are not relevant. Discussing Apple policy decisions is prohibited by the TOS.

     

    If you thnk Apple should include that feature, then use the contact us link at the bottom of the page and tell htem.

     

    Whining about it isn't going to alter reality.

  • by AmandaRo,

    AmandaRo AmandaRo Nov 14, 2013 10:21 AM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 14, 2013 10:21 AM in response to Lilia2

    I have three tween/teen girls with very different levels of phone "neediness" and abilities to regulate their phone usage.  They all have the same parents. You are so right Rohit that judgment is not relevant or productive here.

     

    The following tools work really well for me:

    - I use ATT parental controls to regulate how many texts can be sent, when the phone can be used, and whether data is on/off.  These controls can be acessed from my iphone.  Not too much of a hassle.

     

    - ATT parental controls do not regulate wifi usage.  You can use parental controls to limit data so the internet cannot be accessed from the phone, but if you have home wifi, you need to control it through your home router.  There are two simple ways of doing this... go to OpenDNS.com and review their inexpensive offerings.  Alternately, I bought a linksys router for $125.  It allows me to attach specific parental controls to each device that attaches to the network.  I can also easily control time access and most controls can be easily accessed from a linksys icon on my phone.  So if I am out and about and a daughter urgently needs access to the internet or a website that is blocked, I can adjust the settings in a minute or two. 

     

    They often need to internet for homework.  facebook, snapchat, instagram, twitter, keek, ask.fm, are permanently blocked from their laptops.  They can use their phones for those sites- when they have earned to right to wifi access.  If I give them data, they get 50MB at a time.

     

    - imessage is very difficult because it travels over the wifi at our school even though all social media is blocked at school.  It is also difficult to track usage because it is internet data not text.  My solution to this was to block imessage usage on my daughters' phones.  They don't need it. text is fine.  I set up restrictions in their iphones by turning off imessage and then restricting access to change phone settings.  A password is needed.  There are other phone restrictions available on the iphones, like age appropriate movies, but I didn't bother with those.  If I limit data and only allow them to connect to the home wifi for 30min after homework is done, then they use all of the time catching up with social media.

     

    Hope this helps!

    AmandaR

  • by barry164,

    barry164 barry164 Nov 27, 2013 7:20 AM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (4 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 7:20 AM in response to Lilia2

    I have the exact same problem and am appalled that there are not "easy to use" parental controls that will "PROTECT YOUNG KIDS FROM ****" and a timer that will TURN OFF THE PHONE at a certain time. We know the technology is availble to tech and phone companies to do this for parents, they just choose not to. Does anyone in their right mind think that a 9 year old girl or boy looking at hard core **** is a good thing?? Then why have they not invested heavily in a great solution? Many parents see the iPhone as their enemy, not as the teaching friend it should be. Teenagers will fight and destroy the peace and harmony of their home - just to use the phone. And saying parents should "just take the phone" is like saying "just take the nuclear bombs from a country that has them." That is not a solution in today's culture. The MAIN BATTLE I have with my teenagers is no longer to get them to well in school and do their homework, it's being able to get them to put down the phone long enough just to do it.

  • by Meg St._Clair,

    Meg St._Clair Meg St._Clair Nov 27, 2013 8:17 AM in response to barry164
    Level 9 (59,674 points)
    iPhone
    Nov 27, 2013 8:17 AM in response to barry164

    barry164 wrote:

     

    Teenagers will fight and destroy the peace and harmony of their home -

    Yes, it's what teenagers do. Comparing taking nuclear weapons away from an entire country to taking a phone away from a child would certainly indicate to to me who has the power in that family. Don't let them have the car keys. 

  • by modular747,

    modular747 modular747 Nov 27, 2013 8:22 AM in response to barry164
    Level 6 (19,343 points)
    iPad
    Nov 27, 2013 8:22 AM in response to barry164

    Teenagers will fight and destroy the peace and harmony of their home - just to use the phone

    They rarely object to authority when staring up the barrel of a 12 guage with buckshot.

  • by KiltedTim,

    KiltedTim KiltedTim Nov 27, 2013 8:37 AM in response to modular747
    Level 9 (56,496 points)
    Mac OS X
    Nov 27, 2013 8:37 AM in response to modular747

    Military school is also quite an effective tool.

  • by VirtualSmoot,

    VirtualSmoot VirtualSmoot Nov 27, 2013 12:19 PM in response to Lilia2
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 12:19 PM in response to Lilia2

    You are asking a good question about the phone restrictions and I'm sure most reasonable parents agree.  

     

    It is sad how people come to online forums and use their anonymity to criticize and berate other people to make themselves feel superior.  Unfortunately just call attention to their own shortcomings.  It is a dark side of human nature with too many people.  Sorry you had to deal with them.

     

    I agree that Apple should provide a parental control that allows the device to shut down on a schedule.    One shouldn't have to go outside the home to a phone carrier for a simple feature like that.  What if your issue isn’t related to texting or calls?  

     

    My daughter has my old iPhone with no service, it is essentially an iPod touch for her.  These great entertainment devices should have functionality that allows a parent to enforce rules.  For now I just disable access to Safari and YouTube apps since those worry me the most as far as her staying up to late and losing sleep.    She is not a teenager yet and isn’t into message friends or constant emailing, so those don’t worry me yet, but the day is coming.    The device should be smart enough to shut itself off unless there is a parental control PIN override.   The device becomes a very personal thing to the kids and having to ask for a device each night or setting up some rule is ridiculous when the device could easily have the capability.  The capability is easily there, I wish Apple would do it.  

  • by VirtualSmoot,

    VirtualSmoot VirtualSmoot Nov 27, 2013 12:21 PM in response to modular747
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 12:21 PM in response to modular747

    So your solution is to point a gun at a child's face?

    modular747 wrote:

     

    Teenagers will fight and destroy the peace and harmony of their home - just to use the phone

    They rarely object to authority when staring up the barrel of a 12 guage with buckshot.

  • by VirtualSmoot,

    VirtualSmoot VirtualSmoot Nov 27, 2013 12:49 PM in response to KiltedTim
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 12:49 PM in response to KiltedTim

    KiltedTim wrote:

     

    Rohit Prakash wrote:

     

    The capability should be there. Period.

    It's not. Period.

     

    The reasons that Apple does or not do anything are not relevant. Discussing Apple policy decisions is prohibited by the TOS.

     

    If you thnk Apple should include that feature, then use the contact us link at the bottom of the page and tell htem.

     

    Whining about it isn't going to alter reality.

     

     

    <Edited by Host>

  • by KiltedTim,

    KiltedTim KiltedTim Nov 27, 2013 12:32 PM in response to VirtualSmoot
    Level 9 (56,496 points)
    Mac OS X
    Nov 27, 2013 12:32 PM in response to VirtualSmoot

    Seems to me like you're the only one obsessed with my crotch...

  • by VirtualSmoot,

    VirtualSmoot VirtualSmoot Nov 27, 2013 12:37 PM in response to KiltedTim
    Level 1 (0 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 12:37 PM in response to KiltedTim

    You can say that, yet it is your avatar picture?     Sorry, I don't have time to amass 30,000 "points" online, so you can have the last word.

  • by razmee209,

    razmee209 razmee209 Nov 27, 2013 1:05 PM in response to VirtualSmoot
    Level 7 (33,746 points)
    Nov 27, 2013 1:05 PM in response to VirtualSmoot

    Parents should be smart enough to control their kids.

     

    Quit blaming Apple, they aren't the one who should be parenting your kids, you should.

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