Why won't my iPhone show up in iTunes when first plugged in?

When I plug in my iPhone 3GS, I think it syncs to iTunes but it doesn't show up in the application sidebar like it used to. I just recently upgraded to Snow Leopard. I have not had to chance to get Lion and it might be a while. I'm on a school network, so I don't want to set up iCloud. I just want the events that I add while on my MacBook iCal to be transferred to my iPhone iCal. This transfer is not being made for some reason and I need to see these events while on the go. What are my choices? Thanks so much!