I'm not offended at all and certainly do not wish to start an argument. I hope I can explain this in a way so you can understand. It is similar but slightly different than the USA.
There have been many constitutional changes in the relations between Holland and it's former colonies thru the years - 1954, 1975, 1986, and the last one on October 10, 2010.
As of this last date the (equal) partners in the Kingdom of the Netherlands are Holland, Aruba, Curaçao and St. Maarten. The other Dutch Caribbean islands of Bonaire, Saba, and St. Eustatius have become "special municipalities" of Holland.
Now, while each partner has it's own Goverment and completely takes care of it's own affairs, a limited number of affairs are delegated to the Kingdom Government. These are defense, foreign affairs and nationality.
Each partner (Holland, Aruba, Curacao and St. Maarten) has representation in the Kingdom Government.
All of us, residents of these countries carry a European Passport (because the Kingdom is member of the European Union), can freely travel to and reside in any European Union country and can freely make use of the Netherlands Embassies and Consulates all over the world. The Royal Netherlands Navy is present on each of our islands.
With exception of the three affairs mentioned above, our Goverment (Parliament and the Council of Ministers) handle all other affairs. We do not know a Federal Government as was the case before 1986 when the Netherlands Antilles still existed.
You may ask yourself what happened to Bonaire, Saba, and St. Eustatius? Well, they are now a part of Holland, which was there own choice.
Hopefully this entire constitutional situation is now clear to you. Leave it to the Dutch to create complicated but effective situations.