I FIXED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so after trying EVERYTHING else, I finally fixed it! The problem is that according to ITunes, the ringtones still exsisted on my phone, but they did not actually appear when I tried to access them from my phone. THey did appear in ITunes under 'tones' and under my iphone and 'tones' but couldn't play when accessed there (insert the annoying black exclamation point of death here). If ITUNES is telling your phone that the ringtone still exists, then all of your attempts to restore it will fail, you phone thinks there is nothing to restore. You have to delete the ringtone from your phone (you still need it in ITUNES) and re-install it on your phone. Only after it has been deleted will your phone allow it to be 'restored'... stupid smart phones!
TO FIX:
first make sure your ringtones appear and can play when selected from "tones" on the left hand menu.
then, select your Iphone -> then your tones under that menu make sure they cannot play when selected here.
Then, select a tone from this menue and delete it from your phone! ... trust me.
(IPHONE --> TONES --> RIGHT CLICK SPECIFIC TONE---> DELETE TONE)
THEN... go back to your ITUNES TONES menu where your tone should still appear (this is where you were able to play it from before)
CLICK --> DRAG --> AND DROP on you IPHONE
This should restore your ringtone.