to link or not to link; iCloud multiple question

Ok, so far it seems that Apple has fired off a system "half-cocked" or at least they seem to keep quiet the opperations of this new system; both which are very poor customer relations issues. That being said...

A nice thing about iCloud is the linking of information from one devise to another: but I'm running into a question simi-related to others but can't seem to get the answer which is understood to my case.

What we have:

My wife and I both have different mobile me accounts using our separate accounts with iTunes

What we want:

linking of calendar

linking of iwork

linking of notes

separation of contacts

ability to iMessage a friend without the other receiving the message back

ability purchase an app or book and share it as if we bought the tangable, page turning book.

ability to play each other in game play on Words with Friends

ability to play games with our own high scores

What I already understand:

We can use different iCloud and iTunes account

We can use different iCloud and same iTunes accounts

We can use same iCloud and different iTunes accounts

Questions:

can we use different iCloud log in's and link iWork, calendar, and notes?

If we use the same iTunes log in, does that affect app game play on say Word's with Friends?

if we use the same iTunes log in, how does that affect app game play on games tied to the game center in regards to high scores?

if we use the same iCloud log in, will that affect app game play the same way?

if we use the same iCloud log in, will that affect iMessage between her and I? I'm understood that runing off iMessage in iCloud will turn off iMessage all together.

Thus far, it seems this system has good ideas, but provides more issues and restrictions than it offers. It opperates more as an afterthought rather than a strategic operation. I already can not use cloud with my computer as it would cost me (litterally) thousands of dollars in updates to already purchased software which will not run on Lion. At this point, I can no longer recommend Apple to anyone, not the phone, nor ipad, and especially not the computer as there is no difference between Mac and Windows anymore. It appears that PC has been working hard to LOOK like Mac and Mac is working hard to OPERATE WITH ISSUES like PC. Don't make anymore commercials about the flawless opperation of Mac vs Windows anymore as it will be false advertisement.