Followup. Still a problem but getting closer to the cause....
I backed up the exchange 2k3 account to a PST. I then removed the exchange mail box in the users ADUC. Then I ran mailbox cleanup and removed the mailbox from the exchange database.
I recreated the exchange mailbox in the ADUC user. Now I have a blank mail box, and I have a PST with the users data. I opened Outlook and attached the PST file along with the new exchange mailbox. I removed and recreated the Iphone, IPAD and MACBook accounts. I created a test contact calendar and e-mail. They all went through without a problem.
I copied in the e-mail, no problem... I copied in the Contacts BIG PROBLEM. The MACBOOK syncronized but no contacts copied in.
Since the MACBook copied in the test contact, I know the activesync is working. The Activesync logs are silent on any problems.
At this point, I've copied in the A's from the contact list. They have synced correclty. I'm now copying in the rest of the contacts...
Still the Droid and OWA and other IBM side functions are working correctly.
More info later.
I have no experience with activesync / entourage.
Regarding the iOS devices:
I am using iPad with exchange 2k3 without problems.
Assume OWA is working fine and you have OMA enabled?
The only issue i remember from my setup was initialy when the iPad was connected on the LAN, i had to use the internal server name (sbs2003 or 192.168.3.2 etc). And when offsite i had to use my external fixed ip (77.xxx.xxx.xxx). This was later fixed by setting up a subdomain mail.whaterver.com that pointed to the sbs and then an internal A record that pointed to the sbs's internal IP. ie so that mail.whaterver.com worked whether inside or outside the LAN.
Just googled and you may find this useful (or the links at the bottom, Petri is usually good) - http://blog.raffaeu.com/archive/2009/08/08/real-guide-configure-exchange-2003-sp 2-and-iphone-3.0-os.aspx
If all the above is perfect.
Then I'd suggest creating a brand new active directory user, and try connecting to him with just the iPad for starters.
I had issue with a Blackberry in the past (different kettle of fish as it uses BES not activesync) with a specific user, recreating the user solved it.
Also assume you've also done everything in here - http://www.apple.com/iphone/business/docs/iOS_EAS_Mar12.pdf